The Rage Room…
As you may have noticed on our landing page, we met in a support group aimed at those marked by pregnancy and infant loss. After the group ended, we continued to meet as peers to find strength (and talk shit) with those who knew our pain. One night, we were sitting with Lindsay (our dear bereaved mom friend) and drinking our feelings away. Okay, so it was green tea lattes and hot chocolate, but trust us when we say, we’d have rather had hard liquor in those cups (booze + antidepressants = no bueno). Regardless, as we sat around Starbucks airing our grievances against the world to each other, a moment of inspiration hit and we decided on the perfect location for our next get together… a rage room.
When your child dies, there is an indescribable amount of fury that burns through your veins. This isn’t ‘getting cut off in the Costco parking lot’ level anger, this is a rage that would put The Hulk to shame. As if uncontrollable rage wasn’t bad enough, grief rage is rarely aimed at one specific thing or triggered by something necessarily legitimate. Yes, of course the very fact that your kid is gone is reason enough. But, any (and every) little thing can trigger the anger. The diaper commercials on TV, the insensitive comments made by others, the lack of support or understanding you receive, that fact that your ponytail elastic is painfully pulling on that one strand of hair but you can’t seem to fix it… it’s all just too much. Ultimately, the grief in your heart, the disbelief in your mind, and the pure pain you feel mentally and physically, has to find a way out of your body…and so it comes out in anger.
So, we booked our night out at the rage room. If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, a rage room is essentially where you rent a room, choose a theme (office or dining room typically) and literally destroy it. All. You gown up in a hazmat suit as protection, pick your weapon of choice (baseball bat or crowbar) and GO. TO. TOWN!!! The hour is spent smashing, throwing and blasting every glass, plate, picture frame, printer, decorative vase…if you can pick it up, you can smash it! As if this weren’t releasing enough, the owner operators know, the last thing they want to do to pissed off ragers is play the wrong music, so they let you pick your own playlist for your smashing experience. Despite what you would think, the Prodigy “Firestarter” playlist didn’t seem to fit the mood, so we tried a little Bing Crosby’s Christmas Classics. Bing’s soulful, soothing voice set perfect ambiance to smash the shit out of everything in sight! The release gained from the experience was worth every penny.
And finally, because the facility we visited thought of everything, everything was filmed and we were provided a copy of the experience. While we left a sweaty mess, feeling like we really let loose and gave that room hell, we didn’t feel like such bad-asses once we saw the video the next day. In particular our husbands nearly died of laughter when they saw it. Some sort of comparison to a sloth throwing a baseball…
In particular, Pam’s husband smirked “If this was a torture chamber with you ladies, I think I’d have a pretty good chance of fighting myself off and escaping…” . Well then.
Maybe we were polite in the rage room, but you better watch your ass when the fury becomes us while unloading the dishwasher!!!! We’ve posted a clip of the video for your viewing pleasure.
Enjoy!!!